for jon paul vaerini

the haltered stammer
in your eye
sweltering with
the horrors
of being

i wish you would sing it

no more resistance just
the full enthrallment of all that
is now dust

for in ashes we are born
unto the air and caught
in the glimmering
of eyes

seen as deterrent
to ever present calls
to arms but

such arms are too busy
seeking the embrace
of phantom things so

the wiping of tears
is the assuage of time for
in its passing we are called to say goodbye

in choked up voices!
with dreams of being more of a dam
holding lovely things in our arms like Forever

forever, forever,
long live forever
forever hidden
in the heavens

but all we are left with
are tears and even so

your tears are mine
so do not stop crying--
I will help you.
Life deserves our anguish.

and our tears
and our pain
for as much as we give up,
so does it--

if it wants your tears,
give Life your tears,
and I will give Life my own,
until it is had enough

when devastation is recalled
in awkward smiles of our elders
and buddhas and bums
(bewildered, stammered,
prevailed),
it is done, finally,
it is done.

life has left its mark.
you are older.
you have risen.

and you will speak of your journey
from the heavens
to hades
to earth (to whom which pervades in
the Heavens [now realized])

through blunt words that say nothing of your journey
through cliched ineptitudes that recall not
your horrors
which quaked within endless desires of revival

because such words are not
escape routes or
short cuts or
methods
of guidance

no!--

such words are
keys to
unlock the dumbfounded grin
when all that ails--
when our pain
becomes our strength
becomes our joy

when it is realized that
the Heavens, we are of,
and have always been,
are in wait.

and we utter such words
to souls lamented--possessing

eyes
in haltering stammer
possessed by
such horrors of being

only for them to repeat
first begrudgingly in frustration
in angst, looking to be spared,
yes, looking for such cup to pass

never!

second, in despairing, as a cage
to capture peace as they wail in
sorrow

third, while hands raised to the sky
with feet graced by hallowed peak
so tall and mighty
with vantage clear and epic

it is done, finally,
it is done!

"Forever goodbye!
Forever hello!"

it is done, finally,
it is done.

you have learned.
the wait is over.
you have risen.