i wish i were brave enough to be truly alone
to deal with madness directly
instead of vicarious indirections
and slight of hands

i try to lift the heavier things
because even if i am crushed,
i am nobly crushed,
set to have an angelic epitaph
and gracious mourners of my demise--

but i am not a coward
from time to time
although i have no idea, now,
whether i'm some sort of philanthropist
or a scathing snake