and as i listened
to her lost trail
sentences

of wrongs and
wrongings and
her escape from
them,

i realized a somber thing--
she had never lost her mind...

"the mexicans," she said,
"they looked at me and said
filthy things... the way they
looked at me..."

and she mumbled her
racist slurs and explained
that this is why she wears
vasoline on her cheeks
and shaved her head

and how her boyfriend
hates jews and won't let her
watch disney movies which
are the only movies she finds
worthwhile

and how her boyfriend
is just too racist,
and how hard it was for
her to break up with him cause

it's hard to make friends.
so she takes him back.

and her random flattery
of my "perfect olive skin"
and how my girlfriend
must be "the prettiest girl
in the world"

and she spoke in lamenting dance
avoiding the source that caused
the tears to swell in her eyes and

her eyes told me
of the unspeakable things
those mexican men did to her
in some alley and told me of

her looking in the
mirror, afterwards, damning
her beauty as reason for such
pain

and in the face of such pain
she tried to make amends by
giving to him
whatever he wanted,

first, her hair she cut and offered
but it was not
enough, then she listened when he

told her that all she needed to
put on her face was just a little
dab of vasoline from
the dollar store

so the men would leave her alone
and for the pain would leave her
alone

then he told her that it was no use
giving a shit about herself and if
she would only let go

the men would leave her alone
and the pain would leave her
alone

but it was never enough for him,
until finally she had enough and
in solemn surrender she gave her
pain her entire mind in hopes

it would be satisfied

but there she was
sitting next to me
in her pink sweat pants

and her pink wife beater
with her glazed eyes of lost child
held in the loony bin but

we never lost our minds,
we gave them away