Native American Shamans: The Answer to Global Warming

So I've been reading this book titled Shamans of the World and it's a great read--these Shamans claim to have a really tight relationship with mother earth: one went as far to say that if we don't change our ways in fifty years shit is going to hit the fan. I figure he was misinterpreted, cause we all know shit is going to go down in 2012-- but thats beside the point. Reading that reminded me of that ad campaign we had with the teary eyed italian actor portraying an aimless Indian canoing into the city (do I sense a sitcom?) As seen here:
And I had the epiphany that now is as good as any of a time to bring the crying teary eyed italian actor playing a Native American back--maybe have him canoe to Anartica and have him say something poetic like

"Just as the ice souls cry because FatherO-zone is pierced, I, too, cry."

But this time we take it up a notch: he starts bawling. Camera slowly pans out and penguins are holding each other weeping miserably. Camera pans out more--reptillian aliens are high fiving each other laughing their asses. Who's down?